Walking In Shadows
by PhoenixstarKina
Summary: Marco over heard something that he would very much want to forget, something that someone plans to make him forget, forever. His life on the line, he fled to the one place he could be safe. Half-dead and less than healthy, he runs into two unlikely allies. (full inside, main pairing: JeanMarco)
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: New fandom, new fanfic.**

**All of the other fanfics I've been working on are pretty much discontinued (This only applies to the Glee ones. I just can't write for that anymore. I'm out of the fandom for good and as much as I still love Kurt/Chris and Sebastian/Grant, I just can't.) Rhythm of the War Drums is…at a snag. I really fucked up Pet around that time, and I don't know how to fix it. So if you read this story, and also read Rhythm, ideas are welcome as to how I can fix it up (it's at the point of Chapter 2 of Pet)**

**This little fic here is… different. It takes place during and after the attack on Trost, and contains some of A Choice With No Regrets, but goes pretty A!U after Levi's capture. Isabel and Farian were free to leave after Levi joined the Scouting Legion and he told them to go because he did not want to see them die or have them see him die. I can't really say much more without spoiling the whole fic.**

**Pairings: JeanMarco, ErenArmin, one-sided BertMarco, LeviPetra, SashaConnie(More of a 'friends who act like a couple but aren't' thing), ChristaYmir, ReinerBert, Past!AnnieArmin, and a few others.**

**MAJOR WARNINGS/**_**TRIGGERS**_**: Dark themes (As expected, I mean SnK/Attack on Titan is pretty damn dark in canon.), gore, **_**mentions of suicide and self-harm**_**, **_**murder**_**, **_**mentions of implied rape**_**, drug use (both recreational and medicinal), **_**mentions of other sexual abuse**_**, corruption of government/military.**

**Small warnings: Criminal!Marco, Insane!Bertholdt (Living up to his last name, Fubar, which is actually a code for Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition), different!Jean (some people would call him slightly insane, but would you really be the same after finding the body of your boyfriend half eaten? Even though it wasn't Marco's body here…). Language of course, sex scenes (**_**CONSENSUAL SEX. NO RAPE SCENES**_**.)**

**Summary: Marco over heard something that he would very much want to forget, something that someone plans to make him forget, forever. His life on the line, he fled to the one place he could be safe. Half-dead and less than healthy, he runs into two unlikely allies. Marco, Farian, and Isabel, the new top gang of the underground, uncover a buried secret that could save mankind, or bring it to ruin. **

**OK LET'S GO. And since this was so short when I typed it up, here's the Prologue and Chapter 1! (It's still short, but the other chapters will be longer. There's just not much going on, and I can't add in anymore without giving away too much. I want to save at least some of the good stuff for later chapters!)**

* * *

**Walking In Shadows Prologue: I swear to you, I'll never speak of it again.**

The roaring that felt all too close sounded quiet compared to the fast thrumming of a beating heart and the heavy footsteps of two people running.

The hole was sealed, Trost was theirs once more. It was all over.

Oh how he wished it was all over.

"_You idiots! If you had just kept to the original plan this wouldn't have happened!"_

He was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. He listened just a little too closely, saw just a bit too much. And now he was to pay the price for it.

"_If you had just waited to break the damn wall it would've been easier! Now look!"_

The blood on them had just disappeared into steam, the deep wounds healed all too quickly. _And he had just stood there._

Marco had been shocked to the core at what he witnessed, what Annie had blurted out so readily. He could have easily called it a set-up; that she had meant to say it loudly, that she had _wanted_ him to overhear.

But the speed at which she was catching up to him made him think otherwise. Why would she want him to hear, only to kill him hours later? And with no way to defend himself- his maneuver gear somewhere down another road, it was too bulky and would slow him just enough for Annie to catch him with a well-aimed attack- all he could do was run.

She had already gotten too close a few times, the marks on his face and shoulder giving proof to that. He was bleeding, desperate, and scared.

_Damnit!_ His thoughts were racing. _If this keeps up…she'll kill me like she did Samuel!_ Marco had no time to dwell on how Annie had managed that so quickly without it being noticed. He had enough trouble just getting away from her.

The unfamiliar city of Trost was confusing him, and the blood loss he was experiencing was not helping. _I should have went with Jean when he offered to show me around…damnit._ His own hesitance was hindering him now.

Marco gasped in surprise as pain erupted in his neck. Annie had gotten too close once more, and the shallow laceration added to the blinding hurt. He reeled back as she moved in front of him, side stepping into a narrower alleyway. She had no way of reaching him with the Maneuver Gear on. But it would not take her long to get it off and give chase once more. He had to move fast.

Pressing his hand to his neck to try and keep the blood from flowing, he looked around. His breath was coming in gasps, his mind whirling all too much. _Jean…everyone…I'm sorry. I don't think I can make it._ He leaned back against the side of one of the buildings. His balance was off, and his legs were protesting what little weight they were holding. _At this rate…_ He screwed his eyes shut. It would do no good to think about what would happen.

Standing back up, he began to move down the alleyway again. With one hand on his neck, the other supporting his arm, it was tough to get through the narrow path. His vision was faltering more than his footsteps, getting darker and darker from the ground up. It was not until he stumbled to the ground that he realized, it was not his vision getting darker, but the ground itself. _Almost like- does it lead underground?_

The clattering of Maneuver Gear hitting the ground behind him forced Marco to try and collect his thoughts. His vision straightened out just enough for him to see clearly, it _was_ underground! He had found a tunnel! _And if Titans need sunlight, why would a titan _shifter_ be any different?! _He shakily stood, glaring back at the figure getting closer and closer.

"Not this time Annie. I won't be another one of your victims." He bit out, taking the few steps that would hide him in the darkness. Just as he thought, she stopped before the shadows overtook her, blue eyes blazing with fury, desperation, regret, and- he could have sworn- relief.

She could not reach him. He was safe.

From her, at least. But it took no more than a few seconds for him to find one misstep that had him tumbling down. His shoulder hit solid ground heavily, making him wince. He did not care though. He was safe.

For how long would it last though?

_What about the others?_ The thought was heavy in his mind. The others, his friends…

Resignation filled his eyes. _There's no way I can go back with her there. They'll just- that's it then. They'll believe I'm dead. Or maybe she'll tell them I went rogue. Either way, I may never see them again._

That thought made him sigh, resting his head down when it got to be too much effort to hold it up. _Jean…I'm sorry. _He could feel himself relaxing into welcoming darkness. _Jean…I love you._ Was his last thought before the darkness claimed him.

* * *

**Chapter 1: Isabel and Farian, the original Squad Levi.**

The steady dripping of water was what Marco awoke to. He fought the hazy darkness that drifted in his mind, calling him back to sleep. Something was different. The last thing he could remember was falling down the tunnel, and there was no water around when he fell. Shuffling of clothing made him freeze in his attempts to wake fully. There was someone else with him.

Keeping his eyes closed and his breathing steady, he listened. The water was hitting something solid and shallow, possibly a bowl. The shuffling had stopped, but the sound of boots against a hard floor had replaced it. He could hear his own heart, beating stronger than ever even with how close he had been to death's door before. Someone had saved him.

There was something warm covering him too. His fingers brushed against silk, much like the silk of the cloaks all soldiers wore. Had the Garrison Regiment found him? Or one of his friends? No, if they had, he would not be alone. He was sure Jean would be adamant about not leaving his side.

So, who had saved him? There was one way to find out. He slowly opened his eyes, realizing the only light in…wherever he was, came from an opening in the high ceiling. So he was still underground then. The light was soft, almost nonexistent. He realized that he was pretty far underground.

The other person shifted again, noticing Marco waking up. He looked up to find a man with light blond hair looking down to him.

"So, you're finally awake then? It's taken you long enough."

Marco studied the man with curious eyes. It seemed like they would be about the same height, the man was maybe a bit taller. His eyes were a bright green, reminding Marco of the first leaves in spring. He wore the same uniform Marco did, even the harness and 3DMG, but one thing was different. Where Marco's jacket had the Training Corps badge, the man's jacket had no badge.

When Marco moved to sit up, the man's hand laid flat on his chest to push him back down. "Woah, don't get ahead of yourself. You're still injured. I wouldn't try getting up yet."

"W-" Marco cleared his throat. "Where am I? Who a-are you?" His voice was scratchy, like he had not used it in a while, and his throat felt dry. The man could see his discomfort and pressed a small cup of water to his lips.

"You're underground, as you could probably tell. My name's Farian, it was Isabel and I who found you. What were you doing in that tunnel? Get lost during the attack?"

Marco frowned. "Not exactly…how'd you know about the attack?"

"News travels fast when there's a titan helping humans." Farian said. "What's your name kid?"

"Marco."

Farian blinked. "Funny, your name was on the list of the deceased."

"How about we keep it that way for now?" Marco grimaced. So she told them nothing about him then?

"Hidin' from someone?" Farian grinned at Marco's nod. "Makes three of us then. Isa and I have been hiding low from the Military Police. Last thing we need is for them to call in the Scouts again. Who you hiding from?"

"Traitors who didn't want me finding out their secret." Marco mumbled. Farian was…different, it was the only way he could explain the man. He had practically admitted to being a criminal, but there was something about him that Marco found familiar and comforting.

"Well whoever they are sure did a number on you. It took us forever to get that infection down. They really wanted to kill you." Farian sat down next to Marco.

"Yeah…she did." His voice was a whisper. Annie really wanted him dead, only to keep her secret safe. Marco barely understood the secret himself though. Were they really titans like Eren? Why did they not help out then?

_Because one of them is the Colossal Titan._ His mind chastised. How could he forget what Annie said? _'If you had just waited to break down the wall.' One of them did it! _He felt sick just thinking about it. One of them, one of the people he trusted, he trained with-! One of them betrayed their whole group, all of mankind!

_But what if it was all of them that betrayed us?_ Marco was thankful Farian forced him to lie down. The sheer thought of all of them being traitors…it was enough to make him dizzy. His heart was pounding a steady beat in his head and he could tell his breath had quickened. Farian's voice seemed far away when the startled man started talking to him.

"Hey, Marco you ok? What's wrong? Hey! Just take some deep breaths! Um…close your eyes?! Shit, I don't know!"

He tried to focus on the somewhat panicked words of the other man, hardly noticing when another voice joined in.

"Farian that's hardly going to help him. Marco, I want you to take a slow, deep breath ok?" A hand grasped his and Marco found himself calming with a few steady breaths. "There ya go. Geeze, of all the things I could've came back to…"

"Sorry about that." Marco withdrew his hand from the other's hold. Looking up, he realized it must be Isabel. Short blonde hair and amber eyes almost like his own, she was pretty. "Isabel, right?"

She grinned. "Yep! So Farian's been talking about me then?"

"He said you two saved me. Thank you, by the way."

"Eh, don't thank us yet." Her grin turned into a frown. "You haven't seen yourself yet."

It was then that Marco's attention was dragged to the small pain his right side. In the panic, he had not paid it much attention, but now that he was calmed again it stood out. His hand moved to touch his cheek, feeling something cool and sticky there.

"It's not much, but here underground, you gotta work with what you got." Farian noticed his confusion. "We had to get some stitches for one of the slashes on your arm, but the others on your face are covered with some herbs and clean cloth."

"I wouldn't try moving around too much yet." Isabel advised. "Just because you're healing doesn't mean you're in the clear. This place isn't like the surface, there's no telling what could set off an infection with open wounds here."

Marco nodded, his hand moving to rest on his stomach. He did not have much of a choice other than to trust them. They seemed to know what they were talking about, and it did not seem like they were going to hurt him. He wondered why they would help him though, and voiced his concern about it.

"You're just a kid. We may be criminals, but we aren't heartless." Isabel explained. "You were half dead when we went through the Trost tunnels, and things looked pretty bad up there. It was either help you or leave you out there for titans to get."

"There's something familiar about you too." Farian added. "Too familiar to just leave alone." He shook his head. "Enough about the 'whys' and 'what for's, what exactly were you doing in Trost anyway?"

"I was stationed there." Marco replied. "I am- was with the 104th Training Squad, we were guarding Trost when the wall was kicked in."

Isabel whistled. "So that's what happened, just like with the outer wall five years ago."

"Yeah." The brunette nodded. "Same titan too. I was going with my- a few friends to help reseal the wall when _this_ happened."

"You're what? Let's clear this up right now, we don't care if you say boyfriend." Farian waved his hand dismissively. "Doesn't bother us. Anyway, how was the wall going to be resealed?"

Marco hesitated. Was he already telling them too much? No, it could not hurt. If they were underground, chances of them being shifters were slim to none. Besides, he seemed to be stuck with them for a while, may as well be honest. "They were using one of my friends, he- he could shift into a titan."

"What? No way!" Isabel and Farian gasped in shock.

"Shift? Into a titan?" Farian stared at him in disbelief. "And they used him to seal the wall?" Marco nodded. "And I thought things down here were strange…"

"It's a wonder Levi hasn't escaped and come back here with all of that crazy. It must be driving him mad." Isabel muttered.

"Levi?" Marco looked up at the name. "Lance Corporal Levi?"

"Lance Corporal? Man, Erwin didn't fool around when he got Levi to join did he?" Laughed Isabel. "I think we're talking about the same guy. Black hair, short, always looks pissed off?"

"Yeah, that's him. You know him?"

"Know him?" Farian smiled. "You're looking at the original Squad Levi."

Marco blinked in shock. _The others would die to know the second-in-command of the Scouting Legion's an ex-criminal! _"Why didn't you join the Scouts with him?"

"He didn't let us." Farian explained.

Isabel stayed quiet, her eyes studying Marco closely. "Farian…we aren't exactly a squad with just two of us now are we?"

"Huh?" He looked up at her and groaned. "Oh no, I know that look Isa. He hasn't even healed yet! Not to mention he doesn't have any gear, and he still has those badges!"

"That can easily be fixed." Isabel smirked. "You know Marco, if someone really is after you, it's unsafe for you to go above ground yet."

"Yeah?" Marco raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"And down here, you won't survive long on your own…"

"Isabel." Farian warned.

"So!" She ignored him. "How about it Marco? How about you join up with me and Farian? Start a new squad, a new gang?"

Marco gulped. _They're not just criminals? _He had overheard stories about underground gangs from the older soldiers. If he said yes…there was no way he could go back.

_Levi joined the Scouting Legion._ His mind argued. _But Jean's probably in the Military Police by now. If I say yes…what if he's one of the ones that get called if we get caught?_

_But she has a point. Surviving down here on your own, without the maneuver gear?_ It would be suicide. He could not go back above ground, Annie would kill him for sure. He either joined them, lived, and faced the possibility of Jean arresting him; or said no, and tried to live on his own.

"Alright," he spoke up, "I'll join you."

"Great!" Isabel cheered. "Starting tomorrow then, we'll start showing you the ropes! I promise, you'll love it down here."

Her excitement brought a smile to his face. It was not exactly how he imagined things would go in his life, but it was better than what most expected.


	2. Chapter 2

**Really quick warning before you read the chapter, DO NOT CONSUME RAW MEAT (unless properly checked and prepared such as with sushi) YOU ARE NOT FRECKLED JESUS AND HIS NEW GANG. This will be touched on again in a later chapter.**

**And I just have to say, that since some people **_**die**_**, pairings will change later on. I can guarantee JeanMarco and Eremin though. And Sasha and Connie are gonna get married because they both had the thought of "hey we're best friends and don't seem to like other people so why the fuck not?" And I can't break up Ymir and Christa/Historia(I may keep her name Christa for at least this part of the Shadows Series, but I can guarantee the next part, she will be Historia. It all depends on if this story stops at the part I want it to)**

**But romance is not a top priority in this story. This chapter and a few after it are actually going to focus on Marco finding out a few things and leaving some very open and key plot points. There'll also be some above ground things, but not much.**

**Also, Hanji is **_**female**_** in this story. I've read ones where Hanji is male, I've even read a really good one where Hanji goes by the ze/zhir pronouns. But for the Shadow Series, Hanji is female.**

**I also want to appologize for all of the lines separating things here. My computer and fanfiction seem to be at a heavy disagreement when it comes to anything but these damn lines separating things.**

* * *

**Chapter 2: It seems to run in the family.**

"So then, he really is dead?"

The clear night sky hung heavy over the small group. After joining the Scouting Legion and reuniting with Eren, they had spent most of their time talking about the attack. It surprised him just how many of his friends had joined. Out of their group, only Annie had chosen another branch.

Sasha nodded solemnly to Eren's question. "Yeah. Jean was the one to find him." Her voice was quiet, muffled against Connie's shoulder as she looked over to the silent boy. "He…it was bad."

Eren fell back against the wall behind him, his arms tightening their grip around Armin's waist. "And it could've happened to any of you…" He whispered, horrified at the thought. "Marco…Mina, Samuel, everyone…" They had lost too many of their friends.

"We can't dwell on it." Reiner spoke up from his spot next to Bertholdt. "They're dead, that's that. Think of it this way, they're safe."

Armin smiled sadly, looking up at his best friend. "Reiner's right Eren. They don't have to be hurt anymore. They're safe and sound."

"Yeah." He smiled back to Armin. "It doesn't mean it doesn't hurt us though." Eren's gaze traveled over to Jean's, his eyes locking with the others. "We'll just have to do our best for them. We'll make them proud of us."

Giving a curt nod, Jean looked away, focusing instead on Christa's hands that were holding his own. "Look, just don't get any more of us killed alright? And try and attack one of us like you did Mikasa, and I'll kill you myself."

"You and about ten other people." Eren muttered. Levi and his squad were giving him no breaks, neither were Hanji or Commander Erwin.

Looking up at the clear sky, he could have sworn the stars seemed brighter than they ever had been. "We'll make them proud." He vowed. "I know we will."

* * *

The heavy weight against his head woke Marco from a deep sleep. He huffed, realizing it was an arm that had strayed onto him. It had been a week since Farian and Isabel had rescued him, a week since he agreed to join up with them. The infection that had almost claimed him was gone, leaving nothing more than a few bad scars on his face, neck, shoulder, and arm.

"Hey, they're your first battle scars! Proof that you're a survivor!" Isabel had told him. Marco smiled at the memory.

Shoving Farian's arm off of him, he sat up. Their little home- it was strange calling it that- was a simple branch off of a tunnel under what Marco believed to be Trost, though it could have gone further inside the Wall. It was small, but comfortable for just the three of them. Marco was thankful for the nights during training when everyone would be too tired to make it to their own bunks and would just land in a heap together, it was what staying with Isabel and Farian reminded him of. There were no proper beds, but a single sleeping place big enough for the three of them.

Marco looked around, seeing Isabel already up and moving. Her eyes were glowing with mischief, the first sign that she already had a productive morning. In the few days he had been well and conscious enough to spend time with the two, he realized Isabel would always be up before Farian doing something that he probably did not want to know. She was up before the sun and almost always back before it had risen too, or so Marco believed. It was hard to tell the time of day from where they were.

"G'morning Isabel." He said around a yawn, climbing over Farian to stand up and stretch. Isabel watched as he winced lightly with the pull of the scars.

"Morning Marco. I hope you're feeling good today, because guess what I was able to get." She was grinning, matching the mischief Marco had seen before. "I found some Maneuver gear that was missed after the clean-up. It still works too."

"That's great." He smiled, accepting the cup of water held out to him. "But what are we gonna do? I can't exactly go out there with the Training Corps badges on my jacket."

"We have an extra cloak without the badge on it, you'll be fine with that on." Isabel explained. "Wait until after breakfast and then we can start."

While Isabel woke Farian, Marco was fixing breakfast. It was not much, only what they could manage to get from quick steals either in the underground towns or by risking an above ground trip. Something new had found its way into the mix that day. _Rabbit?_ He guessed. Meat was not something the trainees had cooked often, Marco only cooked it once before with Sasha and Christa's help. The boy remembered Sasha talking about it once though.

"_They're tiny, so there's not much meat. It also makes them harder to catch." Sasha explained, using her hands to attempt to show the others the size of the animal. "But they're an easy kill, and they don't taste all that bad."_

_I wonder where Isabel got this from._ "Hey, Isabel, how are you supposed to cook this?" He questioned.

"Huh?" The cup of water she held over Farian's head stilled. "Oh, just cut it up. It doesn't need cooked."

Marco raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean? Meat's always cooked."

Isabel tilted the cup, forcing the cold water to spill onto Farian before replying, "We've never cooked it before. Even when Levi was with us, we didn't cook it. The meat's pure, like the vegetables, it can be eaten raw."

_What in the world…?_ Marco looked back down at the pieces of meat he had been cutting. _What the-_ His eyes widened. Frowning and checking the bowls to be clean, he put the meat into two of them along with the bread and apples Isabel had laid out. A third bowl for himself had just the bread and apples. They may be able to eat the rabbit raw, but Marco was taking no chances.

"Oi! Isabel what the fuck was that for?!" Farian sat up, glaring at the woman. "A simple 'wake up' would've worked!" He shook his head, water droplets scattering from his hair.

"It would not and you know it! Anyway, breakfast's ready. And after breakfast we're taking Marco out to teach him how to use the 3DMG down here."

Marco smiled as the two continued to bicker lightly. _They remind me of the others…_ He smiled sadly. _I hope they're safe…wherever they are._

* * *

"Alright! First thing's first, is the gear fitting ok?"

Marco chuckled at Isabel's bouncy attitude. She was pretty eager to get him moving around, and he would be lying if he said he was not just as eager. _I've spent so much time using the gear to get around, it's weird not using it for a week._

That was not the only weird thing Marco noticed. He had seen soldiers get hurt less than he was, but they were out for more than a week. It was something that had bothered him since the third day, when Farian had commented about the wounds already beginning to scar over. Marco had brushed it aside as nothing though.

_Maybe you're a titan shifter too._ He joked to himself, knowing it was not true.

"It feels a bit weird," he finally answered Isabel, "but it's only because it's not the gear I'm used to."

"You'll have plenty of time to get used to it down here." Farian commented. "Just remember, it's different swinging around from stalactites and in tunnels than it is swinging from trees and buildings."

"The gear works in tunnels?" Marco was having a hard time picturing using the gear in the tunnel he had found. It was far too small, and there was not much for the lines to grip to except the ceiling. He had a feeling that would not be a good idea though, just out of fear of the tunnel collapsing on top of him.

"Of course!" Isabel said. "Most of the tunnels here are pretty unevenly carved out and fairly large, there's loads of hardened soil for the gear to grab onto."

The younger boy nodded in understanding. "Have any of the tunnels ever collapsed?"

"Not within the past ten years." Isabel smiled. "They're safe. Now come on! Enough questions, I'm assuming you at least know the basics, so just try and keep up." With that, she activated the gear. The line anchored into a hanging stalactite, pulling her with it.

Marco followed her, with Farian close behind. Using the gear underground felt far different than above in the open air. He had to watch that he did not aim too high, or he would hit the ceiling. Too low and the gear would either not catch onto anything or it would break the tip of the stalactite. _This is why she wanted me to practice._ He realized.

Stopping at a steady spot after a few mishaps, he watched Isabel and Farian closely. Their movements were different from the others he had seen. While Isabel seemed more comfortable just swinging her way through things, it was what Farian did that caught Marco's attention.

The gear would slow as Farian was approaching the anchor point and detach just as his feet hit the object. He was quick about attaching the lines to the next object and used the momentum from the landing to propel himself to the point.

_That's something we never learned how to do._ They were taught to use the gas tanks as propellers, not their own strength. _The layout above ground is different though, there aren't many chances to do things this way._ He saw how Isabel seemed to use less of the gas to stay in movement as well.

Taking a look down, he noted how much more dangerous it would be if the gear failed. They were high up, or rather, the ground was further down. And the pointed stalagmites did not look too friendly to him. For someone not used to the rough terrain, getting around should have been next to impossible. He was glad for Isabel taking the lead and showing him how to do things, and for Farian staying close enough behind him to help out if he messed up.

_Isn't there supposed to be an underground city here?_ Marco looked around. He remembered there being talk of one, but he did not know exactly where it was. Out of the corner of his eye though, he could make out what looked like a few run-down buildings. It was a city, not too far away from their current position, but far enough to leave them some privacy. It seemed to be closer to the tunnel where they hid out.

"Marco come on! Don't just sit there!" Isabel called from a ways ahead of him. Marco wasted no time to get to her. "You're doing great, but try aiming a bit lower. Last thing we need is for you to lose that pretty little head of yours."

"It's not exactly pretty anymore." Marco joked.

"Oh come on, scars add character!"

Farian rolled his eyes. "No use arguing with her. Even Levi gave up after the first month of her calling his hair pretty."

"It was pretty! When he had it longer anyway." She pouted, "But then he cut it all short. His bangs were the same though, sorta like Marco's…"

"Isa is there any other reason for this trip besides getting Marco used to things?" Farian prompted.

"Of course!" She smiled. "An exploration of one of the tunnels. I just wanted to make sure he could keep up before we went."

"What's so special about an old tunnel?" Marco wondered.

"This one, goes right under the capitol."

Marco blinked in surprise. _The capitol…where the Military Police is stationed._ "Isabel I don't think it's a good idea."

The blonde looked confusedly at him. "Why not?"

"It's just…" Marco thought for a second. "Well, what if we're seen? I'm supposed to be dead, remember? And I'm not so sure they'd be lenient on you if they capture you after Commander Erwin said you could stay. What if they call him in to catch you again?"

"He has a point." Farian sighed. "Military Police would take him for questioning and I don't think that would be pretty. And the last thing _I_ want is to get caught like that again; the last time was just downright embarrassing."

"What are we supposed to do all day then?!"

"Would it kill you to just have a quiet day?"

"Yes!"

"Too bad, head on back. Besides, it's his first time out since we found him, don't need to tire him out too much." Farian pointed back the way they came. Isabel pouted, but went off in that direction. He waited until she was gone to turn to Marco, looking the boy over. "Well, Marco Bodt, seems like you have more to hide than what you're saying. Anyone else would be biting at the chance to get out here, even if they were escaping from death… especially if they have someone special worrying over them." Was all he said before following Isabel.

It was not until Marco followed them that he realized something; he had never told Farian his last name before. Just how did he know it?

* * *

The moon hung high in the darkened sky, casting a pale glow through the opening in the ceiling of the cave. Marco sighed as he looked up to it. _Jean…did you still join the Military Police like we wanted to do?_

"_You seem to be hiding more than what you're saying."_ The words rung in Marco's ears. There was more that he was hiding, but everyone had their secrets. He had just as much right as them to keep his own. Even if he did want to share them, he had no idea how he could.

His mind was far away from the secrets though, focusing instead on the others. He wondered how things were going for them; where they went, what they were learning, how they were doing, he worried about them. _I just hope he isn't too hard on them, if they joined with him_. There was no doubt in his mind that at least three of them had joined the Scouting Legion. Eren was dead set on it, and Marco knew Armin and Mikasa would follow him.

"Stay safe guys." Marco whispered. "At least until things calm down…then I can come and join you."

"Join the Scouts? Are you mad?"

Farian's voice made him jump. He had not realized that they were back from their little trip. They were right to come back when they did the first time. Marco was tired by the time they reached the cave, the scars on his arm protesting loudly. While the other two had left, Marco took a small nap.

"Not mad…it really just depends on where Jean is."

"So mystery man finally gets a name." The brunette commented dryly. "And if he's in the Military Police? You're a criminal now just for associating with us, think that would go over well with them?"

"I'm…not sure." It was true. Just that afternoon, he hesitated with going anywhere near the Military Police. Would he really join them?

"Just give it up." Farian sighed. "Look, there's no way you can go out there any time soon if someone's after you so don't worry about it."

"Alright." Marco sat up. Farian and Isabel sat beside him. He grimaced as his stomach twisted in a slight pain. Hunger was nothing new, but it became more pronounced with nothing to distract him from it. Underground though, food was even scarcer. The rabbit and apples and bread from that morning were lucky finds. Isabel was probably above ground to find the rabbit, a risky move in itself.

"Farian, you've been staring at Marco like he's a puzzle, what the hell are you trying to figure out?" Isabel finally broke the silence, and Marco looked over to find that Farian was indeed staring at him. The man had been doing that a lot in the past week.

"What is it?" He questioned.

"Your name, it _is_ Marco Bodt, correct?" Farian questioned.

Marco nodded. "Yes, it is. But how do you know that? I never mentioned a last name, and neither did the list of the deceased."

"Do you have any siblings?"

He nodded again. "Yes."

"How many, how old?"

"One, twenty-one, though I haven't seen him since he was twelve."

Farian hummed. "One sibling, twenty-one years old, safe to assume a brother since you said you haven't seen _him_." He thought for a second. "You have the strangest quirks too; checking the bowl when you knew it was clean, knowing your exact limits when it came to the maneuver gear, hesitating at the raw meat when others would just eat it without a care. Your brother, would his name happen to be… Levi?"

Isabel gasped, looking from Farian to Marco. "Wait wait wait, Farian, you mean Marco is Levi's _younger brother_?!"

Marco closed his eyes. He expected them to figure it out, just not as soon as they did. He thought it would at least take a few more weeks, with what little he had told them. They did not look much alike, and Marco did not think about it often enough to even say something passingly. But Farian was right, it was the small things that had given him away; things that had been drilled into him since he was able to walk.

Opening his eyes, he looked at Farian and Isabel. Isabel's shock was apparent, but Farian's expression was unreadable. "Yes." He finally said. "Levi, Lance Corporal Levi, is my older brother."


	3. Chapter 3

**Gonna see more of the surface in this chapter, specifically Jean and Levi. And Levi having difficulty dealing with how tall Jean is even when the boy's sitting down. Just wait until he has a talk with Bertholdt.**

**As for the Underground and Marco…they don't really play a huge part for this chapter. This one's more of a Surface chapter. What goes on here with Marco, Farian, and Isabel will be explained in Chapter 4.5.**

**A little reminder too, this story follows canon with A Choice With No Regrets only up to the first chapter. So all that is going to be canon is that Erwin captured Levi and forced him to join the Scouting Legion, and that Levi was the leader of a gang that consisted of him, Isabel, and Farian. NOTHING ELSE except for one thing STANDS TRUE FOR THIS STORY. Since the new stuff for it is well…new, I won't say anything about it here. It becomes AU after Erwin captures Levi. **

**This story DOES follow canon to a certain extent with the main manga/anime(more so the anime, but it does have some things the manga did that the anime didn't, and seeing as the anime stopped before the good stuff…) but it will become full AU from the manga when the new Squad Levi forms. Let's just say that Levi's squad is going to be a bit jumbled. (and I hope some of you will be happy with a little twist that snuck it's way into the story!)**

* * *

**Chapter 3: The Difference Between Two Worlds**

* * *

His breath came out in harsh pants as he glared at Armin. "Fight like you mean it!" Jean spat. "Do you think others'll go easy on you just because you're small?"

Armin looked worriedly at the other boy. Something was wrong, that was easy for Armin to figure out. "Jean maybe we should stop, we won't be fighting each other on the expedition. Commander Erwin said we won't be fighting at all. It's ok to take a break!" He jumped back as Jean swung at him again but was not ready for Jean to tackle him to the ground. "Jean! Stop it!"

Their mock fight had caught the attention of most of the others training near them. Ymir and Connie egged them on, only to be silenced by Reiner. Petra and Christa were watching with curious eyes from behind Auruo, who kept them from getting closer. Christa gasped in surprise as Armin managed to flip Jean off of him, getting onto his hands and knees before Jean tackled him again.

"Jean he said to stop!" Eren caught sight of the brawl, running over with Mikasa and Bertholdt not far behind. He tried pulling Jean off of Armin, only to have Jean swing a punch at him. Grabbing the back of Jean's shirt by the collar, Bertholdt pulled him off the ground and held him a few inches into the air, watching blankly as the other struggled.

Mikasa helped Armin to his feet, Eren helping her checking him over for any bad bruises or scrapes. "Jean. Stop it." She growled.

"What the _hell_ is going on over here?"

Jean stilled in Bertholdt's grasp, subdued by the glare Levi gave as he walked over.

"Well?"

"It's nothing Lance Corporal." Armin murmured. "I just overreacted."

Eren looked ready to protest, but stopped at a glance from Levi. "Really now?" The disbelief in Levi's voice weighed down on Armin. "Kirstein, come with me. There are some things we need to talk about."

* * *

"_How_ did we not see it before? I mean you two do look alike!"

"Not really Isa. Levi and I haven't looked alike for probably ten years."

The three days since Marco had told Farian and Isabel one of his secrets had passed all too quickly. He learned something in that time; Isabel did not get over shocking things quickly.

"But you both glare the same!"

Glaring at her did not help Marco any.

The three of them were currently walking towards the underground town. They decided it was time for Marco to see exactly how things differed from the surface.

It was not their only reason for the trip. Word had gotten to them that the Military Police were paying more attention to the crime in the underground. Their best bet was to lay low and not draw attention to themselves, which meant leaving the maneuver gear behind.

Marco had to admit was excited to finally learn more about the world he had been thrust into. The stories Farian and Isabel had told him were enough to keep his curiosity curbed for a while, but he was dying to know what it was really like.

"Don't have to high expectations." Farian warned. "This isn't like the surface, its worse."

He could not understand how anything could be worse than the constant fear that any day, at any moment, the walls could crumble and humanity could be at the full mercy of the titans.

Being underground had relaxed him and his guard had fallen. There were no titans to watch out for, shifters or otherwise. The most he had to be wary of was using the gear and missing a holding point. He had not felt that relaxed since he was little.

Marco remembered the last time he was that relaxed. It was hazy, but there. He was five at the time, Levi was teaching him how to climb trees. The last time he had been relaxed, had been the last time he saw his older brother. After that day he was always worried about something; about his brother, about what would happen to both of them when others found out about his disappearance, and then, five years later, about joining the army.

Wall Maria being breached cemented his decision to join the Training Corps and find his brother. Relief had flooded him when he saw Levi in the Scouting Legion, only to be replaced with fear. Of all the branches for Levi to join, Marco wished it hadn't been that one. As the years went on, he did feel resentment for Levi just leaving him like he did, but the worry over him would always be there.

His hand came up to his neck, only to stop short of grabbing something that was not there. _The necklace._ Around his neck, hidden under his shirt, had been a necklace with the wings of freedom on a pendant of sapphire and what looked like ruby. It was part of a matching set, the other one being made of obsidian and ruby. _That's right. I lost it in Trost._

Had it just been the necklace that was lost to him, he would worry. It was what the necklace held beside the wings of freedom that made him mourn its absence.

"Oi, Marco. You still here or are you daydreaming about the surface again?"

He shook his head at Farian's question. "Sorry Farian, just thinking over some things."

"Well quit your thinking." Farian ordered. "We're here."

* * *

Jean followed Levi into the large building that served as the Scouting Legion's base. The only sound echoing off the stone walls were their footsteps, neither eager to break the tense silence between them. The room Levi lead him to was void of any living being, but there were shelves lined with books; old ones that Jean believed could be older than the walls themselves, new ones that looked freshly bound, and the odd note paper sticking out from between every few books. Three chairs and a desk were pushed near one wall, two of the chairs sitting in front of the desk, one behind it.

The small jump Levi had to do to be able to sit on top of the desk happened without comment, and Jean took a seat in one of the chairs in front of him. "Kirstein today's training was to test your abilities to handle tense situations, _not_ to flatten your teammate to the ground." Levi began.

Jean looked down to his hands resting on his lap. "I know Lance Corporal; I got carried away. It won't happen again."

"See that it doesn't, or your ass will be staying behind on the expedition." Jean flinched at the threat. Staying behind was a worse punishment than anything to most of the legion. If Levi or Erwin left someone behind, it showed the lack of trust they had in the person to keep everything under control.

"It won't happen again." He repeated.

Levi stared at him for a moment, slightly impressed that Jean had not flinched under the drilling gaze. "What brought on that little show?" At Jean's silence, he continued, "I doubt you have anything against Arlelt, his bratty guard wolf wouldn't let that stay for long." He paused. "Perhaps, it has to do with someone who…_was_ close to you."

Looking up to meet the Corporal's gaze, Jean's mind flashed with pictures of Marco. Memories that he had tried to bury resurfaced, and it took effort for his eyes not to water at them. "I just…it's hard without Marco." He admitted. "Him, me, the others…we had everything planned out. We wanted to join the Military Police, but deep down, I guess Eren had a tight hold on all of us."

He stopped, but a slight wave from Levi told him to continue. "We were going to be Squad Leaders together. The twelve of us, we were going to be the greatest squads the Scouting Legion ever saw. Marco, Eren, Armin, Mikasa, Sasha, and Connie were one team. I was with Christa, Ymir, Reiner, Bertholdt, and Annie." Jean sighed. "But then…and Annie joined the Police…"

"But it all falls back on Marco." Levi summarized. "The lashing out, the willingness to readily give up your life; all because of a fallen lover. And not just you, all of you little shits are nothing but insomniacs."

"Seeing what the titans can do really shook us." Jean defended them. "Marco was in the top ten of our group, it showed us that we're all nothing but prey."

"So you take out your anger over that feeling on each other?"

"No!"

Levi raised an eyebrow. "Really?" He got off the desk, standing in front of Jean and glaring into the boy's eyes. "Kirstein, you aren't the only person in the Scouting Legion who Marco was close to at one point."

"Huh? Who else?" Jean asked confusedly. Marco had never mentioned anyone else. Not a friend, not another lover- though that was impractical, with the two of them being almost inseparable since they were twelve- not even a family member.

But there was a flash of emotion in Levi's eyes. "Marco, was _my_ younger brother." He paused, letting the words hang in the air for a moment.

Jean looked at him in shock. He would have never guessed, no one would have guessed, that they were related. When he said nothing, Levi spoke up again. "I left when he was six, I was twelve." With a small wave of his hand, he gestured to a picture on the desk. In the photograph were two boys, one significantly smaller than the other. The smaller boy, Jean recognized him to be Marco, was grinning widely. His feet dangled off the tree branch the boys were on. Standing beside him was Levi, his eyes shut and a slight smirk on his face.

Jean could see the resemblance in the two boys in the picture. Levi's hair was a bit longer, looking more like what Marco's did a few weeks ago. They looked like brothers, more so with the subtle details.

While Jean was looking at the picture, Levi began to speak again. "That was the last time we saw each other. Although I'm sure he was with the rest of you when we left before the Trost attack."

The clang of metal hitting metal drew Jean's attention back to the Corporal. Levi was holding something in his hands, and Jean noticed the pendant around his neck. It was the wings of freedom; beautiful obsidian where the blue wing would be, and in place of the white feathers were deep rubies. "Before I left, I gave him the matching necklace to this one."

Jean closed his eyes. He remembered Marco's own necklace; warm sapphires instead of obsidian and the same rubies in the same place. Marco always hid it under his shirt during the day, but at night he would always grab it and whisper something to it before falling asleep.

The memories of the necklace brought more memories of Marco, and with them tears sprang up in his eyes again. He kept them close, until there was a sudden weight around his neck. He opened his eyes. Levi was standing right in front of him, his hands busy getting the clasp of a necklace shut to keep it around Jean's neck. Looking down, he saw the familiar red and blue stones.

"It was the only thing of his recovered in Trost besides one of his trainee jacket badges." Levi's voice was softer than Jean ever remembered hearing it. "Although, it seems to have gained more weight."

The tears that had sprung up finally fell as Jean raised the necklace up to eye level. Resting on either side of the pendant were two silver bands speckled with the same ruby red gems as the wings of freedom.

"_I know we're still young, but, I just want to find something that can stand as a promise for both of us. A promise that we'll survive, that we'll make it. Together."_

He let out a choked sob, remembering what Marco had told him just hours before the wall had been kicked in. Jean slid from the chair to the ground, resting on his knees and gripping the pendant and rings to his chest tightly. The sobs and tears would not stop, even as he moved to unhook the clasp and take one of the rings off. It fit perfectly on his ring finger and made him sob harder.

Levi leaned back against the desk, aware of the door opening and a blonde blur falling beside the boy on the floor. Armin's arms wrapped around Jean, hugging him tightly. Two others, Levi vaguely remembered Eren saying they were Sasha and Christa, were waiting by the door with a sad smiling Hanji and worried Petra.

"He wanted to make sure everything was ok." Hanji explained, nodding to Armin. "I don't think any of them have had a chance to really grieve over what happened."

As Sasha and Christa joined the two boys in their hug, Jean buried his head in Sasha's shoulder. "What am I supposed to do?" He whispered brokenly, wrapping his arms around the other three.

The question went unanswered for a moment. "Fight." They looked up at Levi. "You're supposed to fight. It's what the Scouting Legion does. We make sure that no sacrifice is in vain." He glared heavily at Jean. "My little brother died probably saving your ass, because he takes relationships to heart. If he loved you, he was willing to die for you. _Don't_ let that go to waste."

Levi was right, Jean decided. He would fight. Fight, and _win_. Looking at the pendant in his hand, and the ring on his finger, his determination grew. He stood up, looking apologetic when Armin and Christa were pulled off their feet with the force. Sasha had fallen backwards, grinning at the look on Jean's face.

"We'll fight. We'll _win._" Jean vowed, nodding to Levi before turning to Armin. "We gotta train some more. Don't think no one saw you fall off your horse that one time. Sasha, help him out with balance. According to Bertholdt it's gonna rain later on, so try to get that done beforehand."

"Yes sir _Squad Leader_ sir." Sasha teased, wiping away a few tears before giving a mock salute and grabbing Armin's hand. "I'll have him doing hand stands on horses before you know it!"

As she ran out, Armin in tow, Jean yelled to her; "And no snack breaks! I'll know if you stole anything Potato Girl, I'm helping cook tonight!"

"Jean, Ymir's looking for a sparring partner. I think you two can help each other." Christa told him.

Jean nodded. "Right. Let's go then! Goodbye Lance Corporal, Squad Leader Hanji, Miss Petra." He grabbed Christa's hand much like Sasha did to Armin and made his way out of the room past the two smiling women.

"Well Levi, I don't know how you do it, but you seem to have fixed whatever spell was on the new recruits." Hanji laughed. "I'm sure their mood'll get infectious in no time!"

Levi rolled his eyes, walking to the doorway where Hanji and Petra were standing. "It's just a matter of knowing what you're dealing with." He wrapped an arm around Petra as she rested her head on his shoulder. "A guard wolf needs harsh training, but a mourning fox needs even harsher treatment."

"Are you sure you and Erwin aren't related?" Hanji asked with a serious look. "That sounds like something he'd say."

"No relation." Levi said. "I don't have _any_ relatives now."

Petra frowned. "Levi…"

"It doesn't matter." Levi told her. "It's just one less thing I have to worry about losing."

* * *

**It's short…but I think it's at a good stopping point with Levi there. The next chapter is longer, and wait until I write chapter 5, 6 and 7. Those are during the Female Titan arc. And with the outline I have for them…they're gonna be pretty huge.**


	4. Chapter 4

**WARNING: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS DRUG USE. It's mostly medical, but there is a case of recreational drug use here too. And please note that this drug may not exist. Or if it does it could be highly dangerous. The closest thing to it would probably be hydrocodone and vicoden. **

_Italics are a dream sequence for this chapter._ **The dream sequences, contain**_** flashbacks**_** as part of them. So if they seem fragmented, that's why. They're supposed to be like that. I also have to slap a gore warning on the first one here.**

**There's a very important note at the end of this chapter, something that I had just thought of. So please read it, it'll help everything make sense.**

* * *

**Chapter 4: One More Medicated Peaceful Moment**

* * *

_Heavy pants filled the air as wandering hands ghosted over his chest. The room was too hot and too cold at the same time. Marco tossed his head back as the phantom hands moved even lower, the chilling feeling of fingers tickling his stomach made him shiver. His hips pressed up against the person above him._

"_Jean." He breathed, rolling his hips and moaning as a pair of lips pressed heavy kisses on his neck. "Please." The mouth on his neck turned up into a smile. _

"_**N-no! Go away! Stop, someone please!"**_

_**A dark alleyway, horrific screams, the familiar green and white insignia…**_

_As quick as the fingers and lips were on him, they were gone. Marco's eyes blinked open and his breath hitched at the sharp pain that twisted into his right arm._

_**Isabel covering her ears, Farian turning him away from the scene.**_

"_W-what the-!" He choked off, staring in horror as the figure above him gripped his arm even tighter. _

_It was not Jean on top of him. It was not anyone he recognized._

"_Kill….de-destory…" The figure wore a grin that only grew with the words. "Humans…kill…"_

_**White masks, dripping with a red liquid too dark to be natural.**_

_Marco's eyes widened in terror, a scream leaving his lips as the figure moved away, wrenching his arm with it. Blood splattered along the cold floor on his neck and face, blurring his vision in his right eye. As quick as possible, he rose to a sitting position, trying to get away from the wavering figure._

_Something was in the figure's jaws, and a quick check was enough to make Marco even more terrified. His arm, the figure held his arm in its jaws._

_**Painted smiles, feral looks that threatened to tear even souls apart.**_

"_G-go away!" The figure dropped his arm, moving closer to Marco. "Stop!" He tried to move back, getting only so far before he felt something against him._

_He looked up, the look in his eyes turning hopeful. "Bertholdt! Bertholdt, you have to help! You have to warn the others! Annie, it's Annie. She killed me. She betrayed us!" Marco stopped talking, noticing the blank look in his friend's eyes. "Bertholdt?"_

_Marco struggled to his feet, his left hand trying to stop the bleeding from his torn off arm. It felt weird, but strangely, there was no pain. It was numb, and when he moved his hand, there was no blood. What he did find, were small, blood-red stones, much like the ones on the necklaces._

_**Knives, pliers, shears, all littered across the floor.**_

"_Bertholdt, can you hear me?" Marco asked, not daring to look over his shoulder at the approaching figure. "Bertholdt?"_

_The other boy finally moved, like a puppet connected to a taunt string. His eyes were filled with tears, but he was laughing, a wide smile on his face._

_**The evil glints in their eyes, the careless slicing, cutting, slashing.**_

"_Marco…you know too much now."_

_Marco looked in horror. Those words, the same words Annie had told him. Bertholdt brought his palm up to his mouth, giving it a quick and deep bite._

"_If only…you had been mine."_

_**Blood, splattered along the floor, over the familiar uniforms, over their victims. The scent was overpowering, and he reacted.**_

"_N…no…"_

_**The wall falling. Screaming from every direction. Chaos, madness, horror, terror.**_

_**Bertholdt, healing from a lost arm like it was nothing. Annie, steam coming from her back. Reiner, eyes reconstructing quickly.**_

_Blood filled his vision. "It can't be…no…"_

_**The sound of a heartbeat, steady and strong, pulsating with the caressing deep red light surrounding him.**_

_Heat. Too much heat. Growing and growing as he ran. His lungs could not hold enough air as he panted, but he could not stop. Something was pulling him. _

_The same blood-red stone…his changing reflection…liquid…blood... "Kill …Kill …Kill"_

_Jaws surrounded him._

"_KILL!"_

"_NO!_" Marco sat up quickly, his hand flying to cover his mouth. His heart hammered in his chest, bile rising to his throat as he tried to calm his all too quick breathing.

Another arm moved around his waist, making him flinch. "Marco?" He forced himself to calm down at the sound of Farian's voice. "Are you ok?"

Marco shook his head, not trusting himself or his voice. His hand moved from his mouth to his right arm. It was still there. He could feel every scar on his bare shoulder, they were all there, every last one of them. Every ugly imperfection that marred his skin, it was there.

The arm around his waist moved, and a hand was at his back; rubbing it soothingly and reassuring him that he was still there, that he was still alive. "Nightmare?" Farian questioned.

Marco nodded. _No, it was more than that._ He thought. It was not a nightmare, it was a confirmation of his worst fears. "F-Farian, the colossal titan," He gasped.

"What about it? It's gone ain't it?"

"No." Marco shook his head again. "The titan, it's a titan shifter, like Eren." He ran a hand up through his bangs, for once grateful of the scars littering his face. He could feel each one of them for what they were; a deadly reminder of what he knew. A terrible fate that he had met, one worse than death itself. _And I can't do anything to stop them, how can I? The second I'm found is the second I'm dead._

"Who is it?" Farian was sitting up beside him now. On Marco's other side, Isabel was beginning to stir. "One of your friends?"

"I don't know if I can call him that now." Marco's hand was against his mouth as he began to feel sick again. _All this time…we were friends. Best friends, with the person- no- with- the one who started this._

Farian shook Isabel awake. "Oi, Isa, go get Marco some water!"

She returned quickly with a small glass that Marco gratefully took. The water was ice cold, exactly what he needed. His breath and heart were finally slowing down, the slight tremors in his hands were going away, and he could think more clearly.

The nightmare had started out as just a dream, a good dream at that. How had things gone so wrong? If Marco had to guess, he would say it was because of just a few hours prior.

What he had seen, what he had done. It shook him more than the titans. Farian was right when he told Marco that the underground was different than the surface.

Above ground, that would have never happened. Not where so many people could have seen. And it would not have been done by…

_Would it?_ His mind questioned. _How much do you really know? Just the fabricated dreams that Jean and the others told you? _The voice was like venom; not towards Jean, but to what it referred to. _Seeing is proof more than hearing about it is, is it not?_

Marco shut his eyes tightly. Everything was falling apart, not that it had been together to begin with though. The stress of it all was finally hitting him.

It was not what he wanted, they did not plan this. He was supposed to be in the Scouting Legion with everyone else. They were supposed to be pleading to the Commander that they all stay in the same squad, or two squads. He and Jean were supposed to work hard to become squad leaders and prove to everyone that the Scouting Legion was not a waste of tax money. They were supposed to be happy. They were supposed to be together.

Marco was supposed to be alive, with them; not just be some memory to them! It was not supposed to be that way, but that was how it was. Annie had chased him away from them. She had almost killed him. All for her and the other two to become traitors- no, they had been traitors from the start. _Had they even truly been friends?_

And everything that he had seen down below the surface, everything Farian and Isabel had shown him. It was nothing that he would wish on anyone. And for him to… there had just been so much blood. He could still feel it on his hands, feel the anger, the rage, he was almost shaking with it.

He had to be honest, it _hurt._ Everything hurt, from his head to his toes; the rage, the sorrow, the grief, it _ached_. Right to his core, he did not want any of it. He wanted things to be normal again. But deep down, he knew they would never be normal. Things never were normal.

"This isn't right…" He opened his eyes, his gaze connecting with the worried ones of Farian and Isabel. "It shouldn't be like this, none of this should be happening!"

Everything was falling apart, and there was nothing that he could do to stop it.

* * *

Jean sighed as he turned to face the doorway to his room. They all had separate rooms, save for a few. It was a welcomed change from their days in the Training Corps. No snoring, no muttering, no Reiner moving Bertholdt off of him in the middle of the night, no yelling at the couple that was moaning in the bunk below him and Marco to go the fuck to sleep…

But it was too quiet at times as well. The silence was more annoying than any noise that could have ever come from the shared rooms. It was so quiet he could hear every little sound. Sometimes Jean thought he could hear his own blood in his veins. If only he could get to sleep.

But there was no way he would be able to sleep, especially that night. Not with the talk Levi gave him fresh in his mind. His dreams would be haunted by Marco, he knew it. Even then, as he looked down at his hand to the silver band, Marco would not leave his mind.

There was no use lying in bed when his mind was wide awake. With a sigh he brought up the very hand he had looked at before to card through his bangs, letting his palm rest over his eye. _Damnit Marco,_ he thought,_ this wasn't supposed to happen. _

Standing up, Jean walked over to the only window in his room. _Even with you gone, the moon's still there. It's fucking glowing, like you liked it to. _His gaze narrowed into a glare as he looked up to the offending light. _I hate it._

Jean clenched his fists and tore his glare away from the moon. _No, it's not its fault, it's not anyone else's but mine. _"I should have kept an eye on you." He whispered softly.

There was little point in trying to sleep for him now, and with that thought, Jean quietly shut the door to his room, heading for the kitchen. _Damnit. What is it that Mikasa said helps with sleep…tea? _He could hardly remember as he leaned against the wall.

"I think it's tea." He muttered.

"Well I don't know about tea, but if it's sleep you're after I have something that may work."

Jean jerked back in surprise. He had made it to the kitchens. "S-squad leader Hanji? What-"

"Oh don't look surprised." Hanji smiled. "Only reason for newbies to be up this late is if they've seen something like Trost. Which leads to nightmares and survivor's guilt," she sighed, "it's all a pain really. Erwin says stuff like that is the reason why new recruits don't last long."

"Yes, well, I can't sleep, and Mikasa said something about tea helping with sleep. So…" Jean trailed off, not exactly sure of what Hanji was doing up too. He did not know exactly what to think of the overzealous squad leader.

"As I said, I don't know about tea. That's more Levi's speed. I do have a little thing that's proven to help though."

"What is it?"

Hanji's smile widened. "A little of this, little of that… all in a pretty, little, white pill. It's something I came up with myself."

"Drugs?" Jean blurted out. "You're seriously saying that _drugs_ will help me sleep?" He knew what to think of her now.

Mad woman. Eren had complained to them of her tests, but Jean had thought nothing of it. Of course the tests would be hard and excessive, Eren's case was the first known one ever. He had never thought something along the lines of drugs to be associated with her; though it was suspected amongst their little group that she was on something herself.

"Of course! It should calm you down enough to let you sleep easily! Works well enough with Levi, when I can sneak it into his drink that is." She paused. "Hmm, you're a lot taller than Corporal Shortie though, maybe two should do the trick."

Without waiting for his reply, Hanji shoved two small pills into Jean's hands. He missed the grin on her face when she saw the ring, but the laughter afterwards was to be missed by none.

"What are these even supposed to do?" He looked at them as if they could kill him. Thinking on it for a moment, he believed they may actually do so.

Hanji's eyes narrowed "They relax you. Every muscle, every organ, from your skin to your bones. There's also that pleasant fog that takes over your mind. It infects every inch of you until there's nothing left but sleep." The grin she wore while speaking unnerved Jean greatly.

"And you really slip these to Lance Corporal?" She must have been very sneaky about it, Jean mused. He was certain if Levi were to find out, Hanji would be a dead woman.

"Oh yes. The poor guy seems to have an even poorer sleeping pattern. Up all night doing who knows what, it really worries Erwin sometimes. So, I just let one dissolve into his tea, and he's out like a light within two hours."

Hanji kept talking, but Jean lost focus on her words. Was it just him, or had the ring _glowed_ for a moment when the pills fell into his hand? He could have sworn the red flecks were brighter. But as he studied it, there was no glow to be found.

Shrugging it away, he swallowed the pills. Hanji did not seem like the type to lie about drugging anyone, and it did not seem to have an adverse effect on Levi, so he thought it safe enough. Anything to be able to sleep without seeing Marco haunting him.

"-he did say something about weird visions though, oh! You did take them!" Hanji shook her head. "Well alright then! Just don't take any more for two days, kay? Although, I think you're a bit too short to reach them too. I hid them in a high place in one of the cabinets."

Jean nodded. He was not planning on taking any more than what he did. All he wanted was one night. One night to himself, one night without the nightmares. It had barely been a whole week and already it was driving him mad.

When he reached his room after Hanji ushered him out of the kitchen Jean laid down and stared to the ceiling. Groaning, he finally realized exactly what had happened. _Taking strange white pills from the crazy lady that even Commander Erwin doesn't bother most of the time. Great going Jean, here's hoping you at least wake up tomorrow._

Thinking about sleep, Jean wondered how the others were handling their own dreams. He doubted that he was the only one getting nightmares, something like Trost could not happen to them without nightmares following it. The whole thing seemed like one strange dream; like he would wake up at any time without any of it being true.

He could not tell if it was the pills taking effect, or his own thoughts boring him enough, but he was getting tired. It was all catching up with him; the attack on Trost, his lost lover and friends, even the upcoming expedition.

To be truthful, he was scared of it. No matter how well planned out things were, there was still danger. Titans did not follow their plans exactly, and deviants were much worse.

_What if there are other shifters too, like Eren?_ He questioned silently. It seemed pretty farfetched. _Then again, what's normal anymore?_

Absentmindedly, he began twisting the ring. Something was strange about it. _More abnormal things. I guess they're normal now though._ Jean frowned. It was not exactly warm in the large building, and he had left the ring alone for most of the night, why was it not cold? The ring was made of the same metal their gear was, and the buckles were always freezing after a long night.

_It's strange…_ He closed his eyes. _Then again, what isn't strange now?_

It was not long before Jean had fallen asleep. And, for the first night since the attack on Trost, he did not have nightmares.

That was not to say he did not dream. But for once, his dreams were fragmented. The only thing standing out in all of them were a pair of sharp amber eyes.

* * *

"Are you sure? In three weeks?"

"Positive. I heard some military dogs talking about it."

Marco sighed. It was not news he wanted to wake up to. Isabel had gone back to the town for a few things, what she had overheard was not something Marco wanted.

"The Scouting Legion leaves in three weeks to try and take back the lost wall, are they crazy?" Farian looked at Isabel and Marco in disbelief. "Even with that titan kid, it's a suicide mission."

"Yes." Isabel agreed. "But knowing Levi, he's willing to take the risk and can make that Commander of his see it as a good idea."

"This is very bad." Marco said with a groan. "I have a bad feeling about that mission."

It was more than a feeling. Something seemed truly off. _It probably has to do with that dream._ He thought before shrugging it off. There was nothing he could do anyway, it was not the right time. _I have to wait._

Marco was unable to get back to sleep for a while after the nightmares, giving him ample time to think about his own situation. With Annie still posing a threat to him, and Bertholdt and Reiner so close to her, going back to join the others would be suicide. He knew their secret, and it was one they would not want getting out any time soon.

So, he decided, he had to wait until they revealed the secret themselves. He would bide his time until they made one single slip up and were found out. It pained him to have to hide from his own friends, from Jean, but he weighted the decisions. Join them soon, and risk certain death, or wait, and live.

He had thought about going to someone, anyone really, and telling them of the three. It would be so simple, in theory at least. The only thing holding him back was their reactions. He had no clue how things would go, but he gave it a good guess. Let the secret known, and they could easily shift right inside the walls. There had to be a reason they had not done so yet. Marco had to admit, he was a bit curious as to why they had not. Was it conflicting emotions, now that they had friends within the walls?

_No._ He had tossed that thought away quickly. _If it were that, Bertholdt wouldn't have attacked the wall at Trost._

The other option he had thought of, was that they were looking for something. Spying on the inside for something, or someone.

_Eren, maybe?_ Their actions during Trost were strange to say the least. They were in the top five of their group, yet wounded. Had they been simply human, the wounds would have been fatal. It was careless. _How does that connect to Eren though?_ He questioned himself.

_Shock? Planning? …a staged performance to get you away from them?_ Marco shook his head. There was no way, what did he have that would hurt anything they were planning?

"Hey, guys." Marco spoke up, gaining Farian and Isabel's attention. "Can you take me to see more of this place? Please?" Silencing the questions in his mind that he could not answer, he then thought that he may as well learn more and more about the underground. Not just the town, but other areas.

Farian smiled. "Yeah Marco. I think I know a good place to start. We should've taken you there before the town actually…"

With that, the three grabbed their gear and were gone, heading in the opposite direction of the way they had gone yesterday.

* * *

Their footsteps echoed in the cold expanse that was the underground. The dripping of water from above was the only sound besides their maneuver gear. Marco still had some trouble, but he was getting the hang of using it down there.

His mind was elsewhere during their journey though, focused on everything he had thought of just hours prior. _It's more to take in then everything I've learned in the past two years._

He had to get things in order, at least in his head. So he started from the beginning. _First; Annie, Bertholdt, and Reiner are titan shifters. _He kept that at the front of his mind. Other thoughts, including the dream and how he came to the underground, were with it.

_Second; most of my friends, including my boyfriend and my brother, are in the Survey Corps._ That worried him the most.

_Third; out of everyone, Annie's the only one in the Military Police._ Almost missing the next target point for the gear, Marco decided it was best to wait until they were on solid ground to continue. He looked curiously up to Farian and Isabel, who were just a bit ahead of him. They were silent as they moved without hesitation. _They've had a ton of practice._

The silence was strange. Usually, Isabel would be talking about some news that managed to make its way to them, or Farian would be telling a story about the old gang they were in with Levi. Marco guessed they were just as worried as he was about their friend.

Making it to the next point, Marco stopped. Something below caught his attention and he glanced down. "Isabel! Farian! Wait a second!" He called to them.

Farian turned to look back at Marco. "What is it?"

"Look at this," using the gear to get to the ground, he looked back up to the other two. "It's a tunnel."

"A tunnel?" Isabel was beside him in a second. "I don't remember there being a tunnel out here, not one like that anyway."

Farian frowned, landing next to Isabel. "We never came out this far before." He reminded her. "It looks big enough for us to get through it with the gear though."

"I wonder where it leads."

Marco was curious about the same thing. He could not tell by sight, the tunnel grew dark with no light source to reach it. There was something about it that seemed to call him closer to it. "Maybe we could find out." He suggested.

"And get lost? No way!" Farian said with a scowl. "It's too dark to see and who knows what's in it!"

"I think we should try." Isabel argued. "It might be helpful."

"Helpful to what?!"

"Our friends?" Marco guessed. If he understood what Isabel was getting at, the tunnel may just be exactly what he wanted. "It's not like I can go above ground. And if this tunnel leads under the wall and out into Titan territory…"

Farian's eyes widened. "We could have the upper hand on them, because they can't fit into the tunnel!"

"They can't fit, and look how far down we are." Marco looked up to where they previously were. "It would take a hell of a lot of effort to get it to collapse."

"And if we can find our way there in three weeks," Isabel's voice was full of excitement, "we could help Levi!"

It was a long shot, but as Marco looked once again towards the tunnel, something told him it would work out just fine.

* * *

**IMPORTANT THINGS:**

**FIRST OFF, THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL CONTAIN _MENTIONS OF RAPE/NON-CON, MENTIONS OF PHYSICAL AND MENTAL ABUSE, AND MURDER._ I'M WARNING YOU NOW, AND I'LL POST ANOTHER WARNING WITH THE CHAPTER.**

**The next chapter, chapter 4.5, will cover Marco's day in the underground city. It'll help make sense of a few things in this chapter. Chapter 5 is the start of the Female Titan arc, which for this story is The Storm's Wings arc.**

**THE IMPORTANT THING I WANTED TO TALK ABOUT THOUGH, WAS THE TIMELINE.**

**If I'm correct, everything in the manga after Annie crystalizes, happens in the span of less than a month, maybe less than two weeks.**

**That's not gonna work out here.**

**So, this isn't as much a spoiler as it is a helpful guide as to what happens when. It'll go up to chapter 51 of the manga.**

**Let's call the start of the Female Titan/Storm's Wings arc Month 0.(I'll just be putting things that happen in the manga. No Marco spoilers here!)**

**Month 0: Scouting Legion leaves for the expedition, forced to return the same day due to the Female Titan.**

**Month 0, end of Week 1: Annie and Eren's fight inside the walls, the others on lockdown under suspicion that they helped Annie.**

**Month 0, two days before Month 1: Titans begin appearing inside the walls, forcing the others to help find the break in the wall and evacuate neighboring villages.**

**Month 1: Two days after the titans begin appearing, first sighting of the ape titan, battle at Castle Ugard(I think that's the name…It'll be correct in the chapter.) Ymir reveals her titan form.**

**Month 1, mid-week 2: Reiner tells Eren he and Bertholdt are titan shifters. They steal him, Ymir, and Christa.**

**Month 1, beginning of week 3: fight to get Eren back**

**Month 2: New Squad Levi forms**

**...now the dummy version because I confused myself. Let's call Month 0, July 1. So they leave on the first of July. On July 7, Eren and Annie fight. July 29, titans start appearing. August 1, the battle at the castle and Ymir's revealing. August 10, Reiner tells Eren the secret. August 15, the huge fight. September 1, new Squad Levi.**

**There's a reason for the different time spaces between things. A good reason, on both the surface and underground. It's confusing, but in exchange for the confusing things, I can tell you there's happy. There's very happy. Let's just say that Marco's little fragment of a plan at the end of this chapter proves to be a small success.**

**And now, to write the next chapter!**


End file.
